What makes a happy Marriage(humor)

I have been with my soulmate for 28  wonderful years. He is my best friend first,my co worker second and the best part is he is my Lover. He is my treater. We laugh together. We respect each other. He does his manly job-Great Provider,yard work,repairs the cars , takes out the garbage, romances me, he hears me, cooks me dinner sometimes,cookes me breakfast,bar-b-ques  and he fulfills my fantasies. My womanly  duties are much less complicated, keep the house clean,cook,do his laundry,do the bills, nurse him,spoil him, yard work,fixing stuff so he has more time for me,therapist,caring for the children and keep myself as attactive as possible(Difficult to perform on pajama days,PMS days,I don’t feel like it days ,just had your baby days, big fluffy housecoat days) ,Nagging him to keep him on his toes so he can say YES DEAR or Yes dear. Now there is the YES DEAR and then there is the Sincere Yes Dear. The YES DEAR when responding to what I am saying is really YES BI**H quit nagging me but only in his mind. He’s very intelligent and would never make the mistake like some dumbass men and say it out loud. He is a man that hears his brain. He thinks :” I want to be honest but hurting her will hurt me. I then won’t get layed. ummm better lie.” eg.  If I asked him : “Honey am I getting a fat Ass? ” You know he wants to say: Dam right woman your ass is HUGGGGGGGGGGE but he says, “No honey I Love your Ass especially the way you wiggle it. I Love your Moves”  I know he’s  BSing me but it makes me smile and not face the reality, of OMG, I am an old Lady. I am now 51. Yikes..but he is two years older so its all good. If he was younger then that statement would be “Damm right, I am a cougar and Life is GREAT.

Last and most important: Being his Lady in public and his wh**e in the bedroom. That is a fact! That is what a man loves. I pity both the husband and the wife that do not appreciate the beauty of Lovemaking. I read in a magazine on a interview with a Prostitute: Most of her clients were married men.  She stated: “If more wives got down on their knees and gave their husbands bl** jobs, then I would be out of business.

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