Perfume(Hilarious)

The names in this true story have been changed to save face:

Perfume:

Bessie, Jimmy, and Susie Q were best friends in high school. Jimmy worked at the country store. The store belonged to his loving and dedicated mother. Susie Q lived at the ranch next door to the country store. Susie Q was best friends with Bessie. The triangle of friends rode the same yellow Country School bus to school every day together for years. They were a close-knit group of friends confiding in each other everything as teenagers do.

When Susie Q entered the Tenth grade she went away to a school on the East Coast leaving the triangle of friends broken. This opened up the fate for Bessie and Jimmy to fall in teenage first Love. It was a match made in heaven for the young couple. Whenever Susie Q came home for visits, the close-knit triangle of friends would spend quality friendship time together. Jimmy confided to Susie Q one winter snowy day in December. He wanted to get a really special gift for Bessie.

“You should buy Bessie some Perfume from Macy’s at the North town mall. We can pretend unbeknownst to Bessie that you are really buying perfume for your mom and not for her Christmas. That way she’ll be surprised” said Susie Q

“That is the plan. We will go shopping and when Bessie falls in love with the perfect perfume, that will be the one I buy.”

Jimmy, Susie Q, and Bessie entered Macy’s at the north door. They proceeded to the perfume counter. Bessie fell a pace or two behind the group. She was trailing them ever so slightly for a good reason as a human need came across Bessie in the walk. Her but cheeks caused an itch inside her rectum. It happens from time to time if you know what I mean. Bessie was very quick-handed at this. The need to itch that was personal was quickly taken care of. She itched her ass and it was done. After this personal action,  she speeded up her step, to catch up with her friends.

Jimmy was at the counter. “Babe, let me spray this Sensuous(TM) perfume on you.”

Bessie was excited to comply with her young lovers’ request. She stuck out an arm so Jimmy could get the proper spray of the perfume just perfect. Poof went the perfume almost getting Bessie in the nose as she had smelt it.

Bessie stuck her hand up to Jimmy’s nose so he could take a big ole whiff. He sucked in a huge whiff. He sniffed Bessie’s ass finger. “What do think Jimmy?” asked Bessie

Jimmy fell backward from the intense odor and said: “Ooh my God, that smells like ass!”

Bessie, of course, remembered she had just scratched her ass fell on the floor in the middle of Macy’s laughing her ass off. SusieQ asked what happened.  Jimmy was shocked at Bessie’s behavior. Bessie catches her breath long enough to tell SusieQ,  what had just transpired. This, of course,  sends SusieQ over the edge in front of the perfume counter at Macy’s.  Jimmy of course was not laughing but today I am sure he does when ever he goes by perfume counter. I know I sure do.

The lesson is you can never be too careful when taking a big ole whiff of perfume, because it may just smell like ass! I am sure Heaven had a good laugh that day too.

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