Show em Your Stuff(Funny)

Show em your Stuff © by Donna Lands

I had just received my Realtors License in 1997 and this was going to be my first Listing. Bill and I had an appointment at 7:00 pm. The appointment was in the Valley of Spokane located in the east Valley school District. We live North of Spokane. I was very nervous and excited at the same time. When I get nervous, for some odd reason, I always have to pee. We drove south towards the listing on icy roads. It was taking more time because of the icy roads. We stopped at our Brokers Office so I could use the ladies room. I was wearing this darling forest green dress that showed my long legs just perfect. I was also wearing a long black coat that had a silk lining. I wore nylons too because they give you extra warmth in the winter time. I took care of my business and off we go to impress the customers.

We pulled up in front of the home. It was a split level home painted light brown with white trim and a white door. Bill knew I was nervous. He had been a realtor for over a year and he was very confident. He was so confident that he had already taken pictures and put it in the Home Seekers magazine which would come out the following week. The ad’s in this magazine comes out once a month. Bill felt if he didn’t get the ad in on time then, we would have missed a whole month’s worth of advertising. We really took a risk doing that.

Bill looked at me and said: “Honey don’t worry, just go in there and show em your stuff.

I smiled, and said: “Alright, let’s do this.”

We knocked on the door and the husband answered and we walked up the stairs. We walked towards the dining room table with our paperwork in hand.

The husband said: “May I take your coat ma’am.”

The husband was standing behind as He took my coat. I slipped out my arms out and then my coat came off. The husband just stood there behind me gawking at me intensely. I could feel the stares of his eyes on me. You get this sixth sense when someone is staring you down. I put my hands on my hips and that’s when I noticed the back of my pantyhose and not the dress hanging down. I was not wearing panties under the nylons. Oh my God, he’s staring at my bare ass. I immediately pulled my dress out and covered my ass. I of course turned twenty shades of red. The husband was smiling ear to ear. Then the wife walked in. I was so choked up that I could barely speak besides the fact every time I looked at the husband, he would just smile. I weighted 130 LBs and am 5’7” and I am all legs. His wife was 250lbs with an apple figure and short legs. Maybe that’s why he kept smiling. He was so very nice.

We did get the listing.

Bill and I got back into our car and that’s when Bill started laughing his ass off at me.

Honey: “I told you to show em your stuff but I didn’t mean that literally. Hey whatever works, Baby”

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